küchen modern hell
finally... i can create my own sonic... he will be strong like a wolf with the hearing of a bear and the beak of an eagle but with the hair of a chicken. actually, let's make him a cat. yep! actually.... now that i think about it... yeah, now that i think about it, definitely gonna... i think i'll...
ooh! here we go! "you can actually build your own character in this game." "that's right! there's...there's a number of different animals to choose from." "you can be a wolf, you can be a dog, you can be a bear, a hedgehog..." "it's-it's kinda whatever you want to do. and some people are gonna look at that and go" "ooh! i'm putting it real serious with my character and really, it is..." this is when i came up with. i'm gonna be honest, guys. i was originally pretty skeptical of this whole "create your own sonic" thing
but uh, now that i see 'em side by side yeah, you know every... everyone in sonic team is going to hell for what they have created here. there was a brief period of time from august 15th to november 6th where sonic was good again and now we're back to this. there are 30 levels... [black guy]: shut the fuck up! outta those 30 levels, 29 of them were complete garbage.
right out the gate, they're literally spray painting assets from sonic generations to try and pass it off like it's a new level. [sad dunk]: why in sonic generations, the good levels were very flashy and simplistic. the game was very forgiving but it was still enjoyable because it delivered a great sensation of speed and scale. sonic forces feels really slow and clunky in comparison. retro sonic handles like trash now, the custom character is absolutely zero fun to play as,
and then you have modern sonic running around in these really short, buggy levels. finally, you get to be modern sonic- nope. [sonic]: hwah! okay, here we go, down the- yep... okay. [sonic]: whoa! here we go again, baby! ha ha ha! fun game for me to play...
[sonic]: wow! where the fuck is sonic? he's so small! i can't even see where he is! oh... okay, i died. this water slide is so broken- oh! and dead. and- oh! *gasp* still alive! still alive! this thing sucks! this thing really sucks!
look at it. it's-it's just broken. it doesn't work. this is a broken fucking ga- annnnd dead. and thank you. now, on steam, you can only refund a game that you have played for less than two hours so very strategically, sonic team made sure that this game was actually 3 hours long. ah, which is just a brilliant move by them. if there is one positive thing to take away from this game, it is that there is a hat in here that says "gamer" on it
that you can actually put on your sonic so that everyone knows he's a gamer. uh... that's probably the highlight of the game. ♪ sonic adventure - it doesn't matter ♪ [outro]♪ sonic adventure - it doesn't matter ♪