badezimmer anthrazit und weiß modern
dora! let's get her, boo! it's time to rummage through the absolute worst animated trash our young friends have ever had to sit through. generally aimed at the under 6, these cartoons are overly-pandering, sickly-sweet, or vapid enough to drive the kids and the parents to madness. so let's check out the top 6 worst kids cartoons. and more than ever before, if you do like these cartoons,
or your kids like them, that's great. i am so the wrong demographic for these cartoons that it's comical. so take this list with a pinch of salt. anyway, let's do this countdown! number 6: ah, the notorious dora. the plot is simple to a fault: our 7 year old latino friend
travels the world with her monkey boots. "i'm boots!" but the sheer amount of repetition and slow talking is more likely to send your child insane than entertain them. "juma is an animal rescuer like us!" [slow weird singsong voice] what i've never figured out is why everyone in dora's world talks like this! apparently the creators think
[weird voice] if all the characters talk in these bizarre intonations and inflections, children will understand them better! [normal] some people claim it's educational, but the funny part is, many parents claim otherwise. for example, in a 23 minute episode, dora might devote a massive 16 seconds of that episode to teaching kids how to count to eight. twice.
and dora will be sure to ask the kids at home to yell the answer at their tv screens to whatever vapid nonsense question she just asked. "that's a big fish! with wings!" a fish with wings? the one thing you can guarantee dora will teach, though, is spanish. "hola!" "hola! estoy dora."
she teaches spanish every episode without fail. i've always found it kind of suspicious, really. maybe dora's trying to increase the puerto rico tourism industry by teaching young kids spanish. - well maybe dora's a secret member of the skull and crossbones society and is planning to force everyone into speaking spanish to undermine english as the language of global trade. - yeah! of course!
how could i not see it before? that must be it! - hmm. - or maybe it's just a pile of crap. - it is pretty awful. - it's bad. - utter crap. dora is painfully repetitive, uneducational, irritating,
and possibly trying to help puerto rico take over the world. and the fifth worst kids cartoon is: while anyone over 6 year old will be bored to death by peppa pig within five minutes, the cartoon still does have its plusses. i know a lot of people like this cartoon. so keep in mind, it's just my opinion. i mean, at least they speak normally. not in those slow voices like the other cartoons on this list.
and frankly, there's nothing offensive about it. but to me, that is peppa pig's fault. peppa pig is nothing. there's nothing significant, imaginative, or even interesting about it. its mind-numbingly simple dialogue, its forgettable, lazy character animation designs; if this cartoon wasn't plastered all over youtube, it would've disappeared from my memory the second after i saw it.
while the english are normally masters of creating crafty, imaginative, intriguing children's stories, peppa pig is among the most unimaginative, dull english cartoons i've seen. "*oink* whee!" yet somehow, is is one of the most viral shows on youtube. sometimes, they get so lazy with the animation, that they don't even bother moving the lips of the pigs! "ho, ho, ho!"
"*gasp* santa!" and its pacing is broken. it will gladly dedicate a solid seven minutes of a ten minute episode to very slowly moving christmas ornaments onto a tree. and then very slowly spelling out every word they can think of in the christmas dictionary. "s...t...a...r... ooh!" i think kids would be more stimulated
by watching an accountant play solitaire. i don't fault it for trying to be educational, but at least sesame street kept its learning to short intervals throughout the episodes to consider a young child's shorter attention span. but this just goes on and on! while i know many people like this cartoon, i personally think peppa pig is just lazy and it thrives on being nothing
while not even considering the child's attention span. and i think young children deserve better than that. and the fourth worst kids cartoon is: everything about caillou just annoys me. "i don't wanna go with mommy!" his whiny voice, his terrible influence on kids! there seems to be two sides to caillou. one is a normal, very young kid who's earnestly learning about the world around him.
and the other is a screeching record of whining that is on an endless playback loop. when evil caillou is on screen, the episodes mostly consist of watching cringe-worthy temper-tantrums. caillou's refusal to share, and taking a little too much pleasure in being cruel to his sister. maybe if caillou was two instead of four, i'd buy this,
but i just don't see the benefit of continually showing young viewers temper-tantrums, and his parents caving to it. even if this is an accurate depiction of your average four-year-old, generally this behavior is not welcome by parents. it wouldn't be so bad if there was some repercussions to his rotten behavior. but his parents are so mellow,
you'd swear they were high on drugs half the time. and creepily enough, i'm not the only one to notice this. there are reports from parents about how their childrens' behavior changes after they've watched caillou. apparently, their kids start to emulate caillou's impatience, temper-tantrums, and general lack of manners. well, at least they don't shave their heads bald
and grow dots for eyes. but hey, maybe i'm being too harsh. maybe there is something i can learn from caillou. "they don't want me to play with them anymore!" "why don't you lend her your bucket?" "here, clementine! you can have my bucket!" "thanks!" [narrator] "caillou knew that leo and clementine were once again his best friends in the whole wide world!"
of course! i should give people buckets! alright! it's time i make some friends back! animetist? i know it's been five years since we talked, but... i got you a bucket! - strider, you shouldn't have! we are now best friends in the whole wide world! - hooray! so you see, kids?
to make friends back, you just need to give your friends a bucket. "now we know!" and knowing is half the battle. and the third worst kids cartoon is: "that's me!" can i include cartoons that make me want to throw up? eh, i don't see why not. have you ever loathed,
absolutely reviled a voice so much that you just wanted to stick your fist through the tv? characters like jar jar binks tend to have this effect on people. but jar jar actually seems pleasant in comparison to toopy. there's something to be said for teaching our kids good values. but toopy and binnoo is just so insufferable and sickly with its endless pandering, that it actually makes barney the dinosaur
look dark, worldly, and nihilistic by comparison. "just like trees! and giant toopy loves eating trees!" i don't care what they told you in film school. broccoli does not taste good, even when the cartoon tells kids it does. and why is this mouse even eating vegetables raw, anyway? you shouldn't be teaching kids to eat a potato without cooking it! that is a serious choking hazard
for this cartoon's obvious demographic! once again, the characters talk like they have problems! "you'll never find me here!" "completely safe!" and just gazing upon the animation fills me with this unbridled rage! while i found something like nina needs to go's characters quite charming and pleasant, this character's face and voice
makes me want to pull out the rat poison and the mouse traps! i can feel the bile rising from my throat! just listening to this pandering, ugly rat yap out his gibberish! toopy and binnoo doesn't feel like a cartoon. it feels more like a brainwash device designed to manipulate kids with its oversaturated colors and obnoxious characters while spouting meaningless, creepy gibberish dialogue.
and the second worst kids cartoon is: jeebus! i really hope there is some kid out there who likes this cartoon, or at least finds it tolerable, because the amount the rest of us have suffered through this cartoon on nickelodeon had better be worth it. the voices! the music! the visuals!
"hey! look at my snout!" "i'm like a little piggy!" this cartoon is a nightmare to all senses of the human body. this show aims to teach kids... nothing. i guess you could claim it's teaching kids how to dress up in spandex cosplay and be a nuisance? i know they like to sneeze on each other, so i guess it's teaching kids... how to expel bodily fluids?
and you know the worst part? this cartoon won five emmy awards. daytime emmy award for outstanding special-class animated program. i am dead fricking serious. (farting) how'd that go down at the awards ceremony? [fake voice] "oh yes, this cartoon definitely deserves an emmy award." "yep, definitely!" at least caillou and dora were trying
to teach something to kids. all fanboy and chum chum taught us is how to destroy a multi-national television network. fanboy and chum chum is a never-ending haze of gibberish, screaming, hyperactivity, and god-awful colors. this cartoon will turn kids' brains into fairy floss. and before we get to #1, i'd like to give some quick honorable mentions.
gah! i wanted to make fun of this one, but it's actually really decent quality. like a lot of disney, it's so well-structured, well-voice-acted, and carefully planned, that i honestly can't fault it. augh! despite being a cartoon based solely on the premise of a girl
needing to use the bathroom, i'd call it the best cartoon on this list. i just can't hate this cartoon. this is a cartoon aimed to teach kids to let their parents know when to use the bathroom. which is gross, but still, it's an important skill to teach kids. and they honestly do this while giving a very pleasing animation style;
friendly, but not mentally-challenged slow voice acting; "pardon me, mr. bird, but i need some privacy." and a coherent story structure. and the characters are likable, too. strangely, this is one of the best examples of a good under-six's cartoon i can find. this one got recommended a lot, but i found it far too pleasant to have on the list. it actually speaks to kids in a normal voice,
and the songs are kinda cute. so i gave this one a pass. anyway, here we go. and without a doubt, the #1 worst kids cartoon is: ughhh first of all, i'm sorry. i know i've talked about this cartoon a lot of times before, and i wish i could say that there's a worse kids cartoon out there.
but this cartoon is like a rancid, rotten onion: every time i peel a layer away, there's an even darker, stinkier, trashier, more nauseating layer underneath! so for a little variety, i'm going to talk about this trash heap in a new way. welcome to the top 10 worst things about breadwinners. the animation is beyond lazy and ugly. inspired by lazy flash animation
originally made by a youtuber as a joke, and nickelodeon, in all its well-known wisdom and genius, decided: [fake voice] "launch the cartoon! we need to broadcast to the entire world!" "look at the amount of views it got!" the backgrounds are seizure-inducing and detestable to look at. it's hard to imagine creating uglier, more obnoxious backgrounds. all the voices are annoying, loud, ear-piercing,
and truly aggravating beyond all human comprehension. throughout all of this, the cartoon is insulting its viewers at the same time. half the time, swaysway and buhdeuce will be shaking their rear ends at the camera. this cartoon is just so immensely proud of itself. it's just so happy with its own stupidity! the characters are constantly mugging the camera like they're getting good laughs,
and it's just... horrible! it is so over-the-top with its animation and yelling, that you'll want the characters dead within four seconds of the intro. it actually does not pay homage to the original material. even the original youtube show managed to be better than this. this cartoon never. shuts. up. it is constantly going for 20 minutes without giving the viewer a moment of energy respite.
the two main characters are some of the most aggravating, ear-piercing, nauseating characters in cartoon history. and the #1 worst thing about breadwinners is: it actively encourages immoral acts on an under-six demographic. it is regularly violent, and cruel through ways such as attacking each other with chainsaws, and drugging female friends in order to win their love. breadwinners is toxic, ugly, fury-inducing,
and a terrible influence on its under-six demographic! it quite successfully falls into the category of rotten, and is among the top 10 worst cartoons of all time. and i can easily call it the #1 worst kids cartoon. i think when we're doing entertainment for kids in cartoons, i don't personally think "it's just for kids" is ever a legitimate excuse. i think the creators should put extra effort into making something high-quality for young kids,
when they're at that more sensitive, vulnerable age. when cartoon creators treat their young audience as real, comprehending people, both the young viewers and parents will appreciate them for that. do you think i missed a particularly bad kids cartoon? if you think so, feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. and as always, thanks for watching and i'll see you next time!